You Are Enough!

          In the last week we have all experienced many changes to our daily routines out of necessity to combat the spread of Covid-19.  One of these changes has been the temporary closures of public schools.  I’ve seen many cute memes and some posts from friends about their experiences so far.  Our local Homeschool Association challenged us to reach out to friends who are new to educating their children at home and so here I am trying to do just that.  Homeschooling is not for everyone, but it works best for our family.  I’m grateful for the privilege to teach at home and I love it!  I am by no means an expert, but I do have 13 years of experience now, and am willing to share some basic information for those finding themselves in new temporary waters of continuing their child’s education from their homes.  

          First of all I want to encourage you to take a deep breath (several if needed) and relax.  I firmly believe God has blessed us all with the children he did because in His divine wisdom, He knew they needed us as parents and we needed them as children.  You CAN do this!  You ARE enough!  Let me say that again….because I think you need to hear it again….You.  Are.  Enough.  The reason I know you need to hear it, is because over the past 13 years I have needed to hear that, especially on a rough day or in a rough season with a child.  A HUGE  thank you to my fellow homeschool mamas who have come along side me, listened, and encouraged me with that simple statement over the years!  With that said, I know many have expressed their gratitude for their child’s teacher this past week.  I encourage you if you haven't already to reach out to your child’s teacher and express your gratitude and gratefulness for all they do every day for your child!  They work hard and they care about your children!  Let them know how much you appreciate them!  Have your children write them a thank you note or color them a picture!

          Secondly, you do not have to try and replicate your child’s classroom schedule at home.  You know your children best and so you can create a schedule that will work best for your child’s physical, emotional, and educational needs as well as your families overall needs.  Maybe your child needs more sleep.  During this time let that particular child sleep in and get extra rest.  Maybe your child is an early riser.  During this time let that child get their chores and academic work done early.  Maybe you have multiple children home and their wonderful personalities clash.  It’s ok to designate different learning spaces for some physical distancing in your own home for everyone’s benefit during certain periods of the day.  I’ve seen some pretty wonderful examples of daily schedules on Facebook floating around.  That may be what works best for your family….go for it!  You may want to set up stations in your house where a child does a certain chore or learning activity for a designated amount of time and then you switch stations.  The possibilities are endless and the bottom line is this – You don’t have to and should not feel pressure to follow someone else’s plan for their family.  Choose what works best for your children and your family! 

          Next I would encourage you to have a set time each day for “Quiet Time”.  Oh how I dreaded this when I was younger in my own home.  Very happily every day after lunch my mother would say, “It’s quiet time!”  She always seemed very excited for this particular portion of her day….and now years later I understand why!   As much as we love our children, we also need a little break.  I want to be clear….this time is for YOU!  How you structure quiet time may be different from how I do it, but again, choose what works best for you!  At our house when I need quiet time, I have the children get books and read on their beds or in a special quiet space for a certain amount of time usually 20-30 minutes.  I have from time to time given them blankets and pillows to create an individual fort of sorts and then they read in those.  This past week I had them on their beds.  They boys share a room and instead of reading I found them engaged in a tickle-wrestling match so I’ve had to re-think their quiet time spaces – physical distancing J!  While my children are reading, I get to do something FUN…NO CHORES!  So if you need to get into your chocolate stash and just sit then go for it!

          Another tip is if you haven’t already done so, teach your children how to do basic household chores and do those TOGETHER!  Turn up the music and dust and vacuum the house while dancing and singing, wipe down door knobs, switch plates, and high contact areas.  Sort, fold, and put away laundry together.  Teach your older children how to properly clean the bathroom.  When our oldest went to college, he shared there were a lot of his classmates who didn’t know how to do such basic things.  He thanked me for taking time during his years at home to teach him these things!  In our house our children (based on their abilities) unload the dishwasher, sort the clothes on laundry days, clean up their own spots at meals, sweep and vacuum floors, dust, take out the trash and sort the recycling.  Everyone helps unload groceries and have learned or are learning how to properly put them away.  The older ones help me meal prep and re-bag bulk food for the freezer.  Everyone makes their own beds and cleans up their own toys/activities.  Because I am particular about how the dishwasher is loaded…I may or may not be known for coming along behind someone and re-doing it…I typically do that chore and besides Brad and our oldest at home, I am the one to run the clothes washer because I am particular about that too.  I encourage you to also spend time cooking together and teach basic food prep skills.  The bottom line here is…do it together and teach them.  It may take longer at first, but trust me…it WILL pay off in the end!

                    One of the first things someone will question about home education is the socialization factor.  I just want to assure you that temporarily educating your children at home will not affect your child’s socialization negatively.  The definition of socialization is “The process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society; social interaction with others.”  Learning about socialization and exposing your children to others and different situations starts in the home.  What a great opportunity you have now if you haven't been intentional about this before!  Take some time daily to teach your children how to interact with not just their peers but with people of all ages, shapes, colors, and abilities!  We work very hard here in our home to make sure our children can interact with the very young, their peers, and their elders.  We work on the right way to answer a phone, how to introduce yourself, how to give eye contact and a firm handshake.  We talk about not being glued to your screens but to know when to put them away.  We’ve been complimented on our children’s behavior and interactions with others of all ages.  I just want to assure you socialization is not learned exclusively in a classroom with peers; it can take place anywhere and it starts with you!

          The last main thing I’d like to share is that it is OK for your child to be bored.  In fact, it’s more than ok!  Children today live in a screen age where they potentially can be entertained 24/7.   It’s not the end of the world if they have to figure out on their own how to entertain themselves; you do not have to be their social planner.  I would caution you...from my own personal experience...silence however, is definitely suspicious.  You don't need to constantly entertain, but you also need to be aware of their location and activities!  With the weather warming send them outside!  At our house a few summers ago, I came up with the “I’m Bored Page” and posted it on the inside of a cabinet for them to use as a resource.  We sat down together and brainstormed all different kinds of activities they could do at home on their own or with their siblings instead of T.V., Movies, Netflix, iPads, etc…and I wrote them down on one half of a sheet of notebook paper.   It started off slow, but they really did a great job and filled their side of the paper in nice time.  Then I titled their side of the page “Your Choice”.  Next, I titled the other side of the paper “Mom’s Choice” and listed things like clean the baseboards, scoop the cat litter box, vacuum, etc…  You get the idea…things that needed done around the house or exercises like do 100 jumping jacks, run around the block 5 times, etc…   If they got bored and couldn’t decide on what to do, they could go to the list and choose from their side.  If they complained they were bored, I got to pick an activity on my side of the paper for them to do!   That summer I didn’t get to use my side of the paper.  They never seemed to get stuck or if they did, they would go look on their paper in the cabinet!

          Here are some other miscellaneous tips:

·         If you are a Christ following family, now would be a great time to start daily family devotions and prayer time after a meal or before bed if you don’t already do so.        

·        Take advantage of all the free educational and entertainment resources available online to families right now with virtual tours, games, experiments, and lessons!  Our favorite one so far is the daily virtual animal encounters on the Cincinnati Zoo and Botanical Garden’s Facebook page!

·       Board games and card games are great ways to build family relationships and create family memories.  Picwits, Headbands, and Taco, Cat, Goat Cheese Pizza are some of our favorites!  We’ve even printed off a Paper version of the cootie game and you roll a dice and draw certain body parts.  Real fun!

·       We love teaching Character in our normal school year and we use Character First materials.  At this time we are learning about respect!  Great resource!

·        Read to your children daily if possible for 20 minutes.  Right now we are reading Ramona the Brave via the Libby app using our library card.

·        Journal your experience with your family.  Get a notebook or type out on a word document what you did that day, something funny that happened or their high/lows.  It doesn’t have to be fancy.  Take pictures to document this time at home as well.  Later you can use your journal and pictures to create a photo book and you can show your grandchildren what happened in this time in history.

When we started this journey over 13 years ago, Brad and I had an advantage many of our friends did not have last week.  We discussed home education and we prayed and sought after God’s direction.  We talked to others who home schooled.  We went to a conference and we educated ourselves on what it really was all about.  We did not go into it lightly and we planned and prepared for it.  We were able to choose what curriculum worked best for our children's learning styles and we made plans for each of them.  What we did is not what so many have been temporarily required to do at home now.  Instead of desiring to educate your child at home and making necessary plans, families have been thrust into education at home and are overwhelmed with the dramatic changes that have taken place.  I hope these tips will help you.  You can do this!  It’s not permanent!  You are enough!

The Chair Is Empty

This is Neil's chair in the dining room.  It's been empty all summer.  I actually have to dust it now!

As a parent we have such an awesome first row seat to watch our children experience many milestones:    sleeping through the night, crawling, walking, saying their first word, first day of kindergarten, losing their first tooth, the first sleep over, the first formal dance, getting their driver’s license, graduating high school, etc.….   Some milestones are so exciting and yet at the same time are bittersweet because as much as we want to bottle up those moments and press the pause button, time marches on.  So we do our best every day to utilize the short amount of time we have with our children.  We spend our days teaching and training diligently.  We sacrifice, worry, pray, and lose sleep over these blessings of ours.    We weep with them when their hearts are hurting.  We laugh with them in the happiest of times.  We constantly do our best to encourage, celebrate, and cheer them on in all they are involved in!  We strive to direct them, guide them, and set boundaries for them when needed, all the while wondering how they will make it in this crazy mixed up world.  At times this parenting process is downright exhausting!  Some stages we think will never end.  All too soon however, we wake up one day and their chair is empty.  Not only is it empty for a few days, but this time it stays empty.  That’s exactly where we are with our oldest, Neil.

A very fun day in the snow!  Where in the world did the time go?!

    In our house we have assigned seats for everyone around our dinner table and in our vans.  Did you know there are more special seats around our table and in our vans than others?   I’m not quite sure why the left side of the bench is most desired over the right side at the dinner table, or why sitting in the right captain’s chair is so much better than the left, but nonetheless, to the Ferris children these things really do matter.  Thus, assigned seats have been our solution to this dilemma.  During Neil’s high school years his seat gradually became vacant more and more.  In fact, he was gone so much his senior year we moved Sarah off the bench she was sharing with the two little boys into Neil’s chair when he wasn’t around for meals.  She began sitting in the captain’s chair instead of the back bench with the boys when we were travelling.  It took all of us some getting used to not having Neil around.  To be honest our dinner table not only looked different, but it also had a different atmosphere!  He adds so much laughter around our table!  It is always a party when Neil is home!

He always adds a lot of fun no matter where he is!

Oh, that smile!

     Neil also had a chair in the corner of our dining room designated for just his stuff during those busy high school years.  It was a place he could put his wallet, keys, backpack, guitar, and whatever else he needed for the next day for school, practices, church, and work.  At times his chair exploded and half the dining room held his stuff.  This would lead to the two of us having a little “chat”, and he would be instructed to tame the beast a bit.  I would get so frustrated with that kid at times!  Funny thing is…now I can’t remember the last time I had to remind him to clean up that corner.  Now the chair is empty.  Not just empty for a few days, but now it stays empty.  That corner is clean as a whistle.  There is actually dust that settles on that chair now.  No longer do we have to step over or around his backpack, gym bag, and/or guitar.  Other experienced moms told me this would happen.  They even instructed me to enjoy those messes because one day the mess makers would be gone.  They were so right!  Oh what I wouldn’t give for that messy chair in the corner just one more time!

He was involved in the music program at Calvary Academy.  His senior year he was the Scarecrow in the spring musical, The Wizard of Oz. 

Basketball and music keep him busy!

The process of parenting is like that.  Not so much milestones all at once, but changes that gradually happen over time.  Each stage has his fun and not so fun times, but each is a treasure!  For 18 years we have worked to prepare Neil for this time in his life.  We invested, we sacrificed, we worried, we prayed, we lost sleep, we wept, we laughed, we celebrated, we directed, we guided, we set boundaries, we encouraged, we cheered him on, and we wondered at times how he would make it in this crazy mixed up world.  In fact, graduation from high school hasn’t changed any of those things.  We still do them today; our job as parents never ends.  However, our role in Neil’s life has changed!  He is now a young adult.  It’s time for him to go out and be the man God has called him to be.  He gets to decide the course he takes.  He gets to follow his dreams.  He gets to make his own choices.  I love what a friend of mine shared with her children at this time in their lives – “The best is yet to come!”  That is so true!  There are so many awesome, wonderful things ahead of Neil right now!  As a parent, it’s hard to be sad when you know your child is ready.  I mean….this is what we’ve worked towards the past 18 years! 

He's a great big brother!  Popping in to visit us at Sam's baseball game!  Sam was so excited to have Neil there!

      He graduated on a Friday night, had his party on Saturday afternoon, spent Sunday with friends, and moved out to his summer job at a local church camp on Monday.  He’s been home a few times for a quick visit this summer, but he lives out at camp full time.  He loves it!  In fact, he gets to work right up until the day before it is time for us to move him into his dorm at Lincoln Christian University in just a little over three weeks.  So, it’s official!  Our first fledgling has left the nest!  It went REALLY fast!  I’m not sure exactly when it happened though.  It didn’t happen all at once. It happened gradually, over time.  Gradually, over time, he was gone more than he was home.  Gradually, over time, his chair in the dining room was empty.  Not just empty for a few days, but this time it stayed empty.   So in this bittersweet moment, we celebrate.  We celebrate the empty chair.  We celebrate Neil!  We celebrate the opportunities before him!  We celebrate because it’s time for him to fly, and it is our prayer that he soars! 

We planted seeds so long ago!  Here he is wearing an LCC shirt!

LCU bound in less than 3 weeks!  So excited he is going to be a Red Lion!

Matters of the Heart

It’s been a very long time since I have updated this blog.  We have had one eventful year here in the Ferris household.  This time last year we had only been home from China for a few weeks with Andrew and had begun to recover from jet lag and learn how to be a family of seven.  We had an awesome vacation in Gulf Shores, AL in August right before school began and it was heavenly.  It was very hard to return from our favorite place; we love those white sandy beaches!

Only a few days into our new school year I had heart issues.  My heart decided to go racing along at 240 beats per minute.  I’ve never been to medical school, but I have watched enough medical sitcoms on television to know the words “crash cart” are not good ones to hear when you are the one on the bed with wires attached to you.  It was one of the scariest times of my life.   As my ER room began to quickly fill up with some incredibly awesome doctors and nurses, I began to pray and talk to my Great Physician.  I acknowledged that He was the one in charge of what was going on in that room and asked him to take care of me.  We had quite the conversation, which was a bit one sided, but the Great Physician is also my Heavenly Father so he understood and I was in good hands.  The medical team working finally had to sedate me and shock my heart back into rhythm.    What a glorious feeling it was to wake up and be able to take in a deep breath of air!

One of the nurses during that time had been at my head telling me everything that was going on.  She was so kind and compassionate.  At one point I grabbed her hand and she grabbed mine back and began to rub my forehead in a very soothing manner.  Later she thanked me for being calm during the entire ordeal.  She. Thanked.  Me.  I still find that ironic since I am the one that is grateful for all she and the medical staff did for me and my family.  In the next 24 hours my husband Brad and I heard from more than one of the doctors and nurses that I could have died from my rapid heartbeat because at that high rate the heart was no longer really pumping blood but fluttering which was why we had a hard time finding a pulse on my wrist which led us to go to the ER in the first place.

Some would say I’m lucky to be alive, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was not luck.  It is by the grace of God that I am still here today.  Each day is a gift.  Each moment is a gift.  Each hug from my children is a golden chain around my neck.  Each kiss I can give my husband is priceless.  In an instant things can change and your entire world can be turned upside down.  Tomorrow is not promised.  This afternoon is not promised.  While I knew that, I did not live my life like that.  I took for granted so many things, especially time.  I told myself I would have time later to write that note, play that game with my son, read that chapter with my daughter, tell that friend how much I appreciate them, plan that date with Brad, etc…because I just didn’t have time.   Even though I would tell you my family and friends were more important than a list of things to do, how I chose to spend my time really revealed what I thought was more important.  Ouch!  Yes, that one hurt.

Two and one half cardiac ablations later I am pleased to report I am doing great.  However, my heart issues really drew out matters of the heart far deeper than the muscle pumping blood in my body.   How I use my time, my money, and resources really revealed a lot about what I really believed over what I said I believed.   I’ve been given this one life, and now I have been given a second chance with it.  I’m not perfect and I will still make mistakes, but I have a new perspective.  So I leave you today with this lesson I learned because matters of the heart apply to me, you, our nation and our world.   Invest yourself in what really matters because we are not promised tomorrow; in an instant it all can change. 

What if....?

We’ve now been home for two weeks.  It seems surreal that we even went to China to be honest.  Things are going very well.  Within about 20 minutes of being home, it was as if Andrew had never left us last summer.  The children were in the basement laughing and playing hot wheels, nerf swords, and nerf guns.  The laughing and talking were music to our ears!  Jet lag has finally eased up and life is returning to a new normal.  We are still trying to find a good routine, but with all the other children’s activities we’ve been a family on the go.  We are enjoying every moment!!


The plane on the screen is facing the wrong way, but this is the map we watched off and on our screens during our 15.5 hour flight to Hong Kong.  We were almost there!!

Recently our youngest daughter asked me, “Mom, what if raindrops were ice cream and candy bars?!”  I had to chuckle to myself and replied that if the sun came out like it tends to do here in central Illinois that it would be one big mess!  After she thought about it she had to agree it would be no fun sloshing around in melted ice cream and chocolate caramel stickiness, especially in sandals!  I did however share that IF they wouldn’t melt it would be a tasty rain!  What if…?  What if broccoli tasted like brownies?  What if everyone got along?  What if you had a million dollars?  What if America turned back to godly principles?  What if it stops raining here in Illinois for a few days?!  What if?!  Hmmm.  “What if” are two small words that can get you thinking and discussing!


July 2014.  Water fun!

It was one year ago this time last year that we were preparing to participate in the Madison Adoption Associates and In His Hands Orphan Outreach’s summer hosting program.  In the weeks leading up to the children coming to Illinois we asked lots of questions and were asked lots of questions.  Many people we talked with had never heard of such a program and were very curious as to how it worked!  It was a very exciting time for us as we shared the things we were learning and the journey God had called us to last year in hosting a little six year old boy from China.  There were a few people who really had a hard time understanding how bringing the children here could possibly be helpful.  It sounded almost cruel to them I think.   So we did our best to educate them about the hosting program, yet the questions still remained in their minds – What if he falls in love with you & your family?  Will you adopt him?  What will you do if he cries & doesn’t want to leave? 



July 4, 2014.   Andrew arrives in Springfield, IL for the summer hosting program.

 

June 1, 2015.  "Gotcha Day"
After 305 days of waiting to bring him home, the day finally came when we were reunited!

“What if”?  These two simple words cannot only get you thinking and discussing but they can also keep you from doing the things you need to be doing, the things you know you should be doing.  These two words have been around a long time, too.  Just go back to the Old Testament to where God speaks to Moses from the burning bush in Exodus 3- 4.  God tells Moses His plan to rescue the Israelites from Egypt.  God lets Moses know that he has been chosen to go to Pharaoh and free God’s people.  Usually we like to be chosen first, remember in grade school when the captains would start picking teams for kickball at recess.  Getting chosen first was a pretty big deal.  (At least it was at my grade school!)  Our friend Moses, however, doesn’t do any fist pumping or high fiving; he isn’t exactly excited to be chosen to be the messenger of this wonderful news.  He begins to have a discussion with God and begins to ask questions like, Who am I God to do this?  Suppose they say…?  What if they don’t believe you sent me?  I’m not eloquent in speech!  Please send someone else!  Now, we know that Moses was used mightily by God and did indeed help lead the Israelites out of Egypt, but he too asked questions in the beginning and he also asked God “What if?” -  Exodus 4:1 – “Moses answered, "What if they do not believe me or listen¹ to me and say, 'The LORD did not appear to you'?"   

The sunset on Andrew's last night as an orphan. 

In my response to the what if questions I shared that the orphans study English and then come to America to learn about the American culture first hand much like an exchange student would. They come as a group with chaperones for a month. Many of these young people have not eaten in a restaurant, been to a zoo, been on a boat, etc... The experiences they would get to have during the month were things we Americans take for granted every day. I reassured those asking that the children were not told or promised they would be adopted so it wasn’t a situation where they would be disappointed if they didn’t find a forever family and reassured again that the children were here on an educational trip.  We also shared once a child reaches 5 years of age; their chances of being adopted were less than 5%. So...remaining in the orphanage in China was really not helpful to them at all. The opportunity to travel to America for many of them was their only chance at having a family. It was also quite likely their ONLY chance to learn about Jesus. That is the biggest freedom we as Americans take for granted.   Then we would finish up sharing that we felt God had called us to host Andrew and to introduce him to Jesus; to allow him to experience as many things as possible. We felt called for the month of July to love him and allow him to experience what it was like to be a part of a family. Then we addressed the “what ifs” (what if he falls in love with you?  Will you adopt him? Etc...)  We didn’t have an answer but were going to be obedient to what God called us to do (host) and the what ifs would work themselves out because we had faith God would take care of the details.


June 1, 2015.  Gotcha Day.
 

June 2, 2015.  Adoption Day.

I was defriended on Facebook for that conversation.  I was okay with that.  It was okay because we were obedient to what God had called us to do.  We knew He wouldn’t call us to something and then leave us alone to figure the rest out.  And guess what…we were right!  We discovered we had both been praying about adoption!!  We did fall in love with Andrew!!!  We did adopt him!!!!  One year later, Andrew is no longer an orphan but is a part of a forever family experiencing love, learning about Jesus, and oh so many other new things!!!!!  Brad and I are changed people because of this entire experience.  Our lives will never be the same.  It’s not all been rainbows and unicorns, so please don’t misunderstand and think it’s been a piece of cake.  However, living in obedience to God is oh so much better than the alternative.  It’s been an amazing year!  God was able to take “What if” and use it in our lives to do something incredible!

I am so very blessed to be their mama!  Love these 5!

It’s been two weeks since Andrew came home, and I am so grateful and overwhelmed God would choose me…a sinner…an imperfect person…an imperfect parent to be blessed with this precious little boy!  And, it makes me wonder…what if?  What if we hadn’t listened to God calling us to host?  What if we had said no?  What if we hadn’t listened to Him calling us to adopt?  What if we had said no because of our fear of what others would think?  What if we said no because of the money it would cost instead of trusting Him to provide that need for us?  What if we had said no to God because we were comfortable with four children and adding another child from a hard place would require changes to what was familiar?  Hmmm.  What if…?  


First Family Photo as a family of 7!!

Adventures with Andrew: While we continue to wait!

Neil driving the lane

Time flies when you are having fun!  The last few months have been very busy for us as a family and in our adoption process.  While we continue to wait for the adoption process to progress we have let no grass grow under our feet!  Neil had a great junior basketball season and while it didn’t end the way he had hoped, he showed a lot of improvement!  I have to admit I have missed going to his games, but have enjoyed him not playing a spring sport!  Brad’s mom has had two surgeries and is recovering from those and is on the mend!  Neil had a big role in Calvary Academy’s Spring Musical and did great (of course I’m his mom, but he did do very well!)!  We celebrated our first Chinese New Year as a family!  Madeline turned 14…where in the world did the time go?  We continue to homeschool without a spring vacation so we can finish our year early.  My goal is to have school finished before we travel to China.  If things keep going well, then we will be done Friday, May 15.  As of today we only have 4 ½ weeks left of our school year.  A highlight for me was last weekend when I was able to attend the Empowered to Connect Simulcast Friday and Saturday here in Springfield at a local church!  It was a great weekend.  I look forward to next year’s conference and hope Brad will be able to join me next time since he was not feeling well and was unable to come.  Then there are just the day to day living life things that keep us busy as well. 

Our first Chinese New Year Family Celebration

In my last post I shared we had sent our paperwork to China and were settling in for a long wait for our Letter of Acceptance (LOA); we were told average wait time was running about 80-90 days at that time.  I’m so happy to share that on day 50 we were notified we were approved and received our LOA!  Since then we have been completing the last steps of pre-travel paperwork which deal with citizenship and visas, as well finish raising the funds we will need to complete Andrew’s adoption.  These next steps don’t take as long to process thankfully, yet the closer we get the harder it is to wait.  It’s like a small child waiting for Christmas Day. 

Happy Birthday Maddie!

Currently we are awaiting “Article 5” paperwork to be completed in China.  We have heard this step is running a little behind schedule right now so it may take a little longer than the “average” two weeks.  Once that is done it is forwarded on and we wait for Travel Approval (TA).  At that time we will get to start requesting dates and purchase plane tickets!  We are so very close to bringing home our son!   It’s been 258 days since we said goodbye at the Springfield airport July 31st.  That’s a lot of days for a mama (Chinese for mama), baba (Chinese for daddy), ge ge (Chinese for older brother), di di (Chinese for younger brother), and his two jie jies (Chinese for older sisters) to wait. 

Easter Sunday

Over this past year God has done a work in my life.  He has allowed my eyes to be opened up to the needs of orphans and children who come from hard places.   I have read articles and books, listened to speakers and testimonies of other foster/adoptive parents, seen presentations and videos about foster and adoptive families, attended a conference, attended our third In His Hands Orphan Banquet, and had personal experiences with some of these amazing and beautiful children last summer.   David Platt in his book Radical:  Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream sums it up best, “We learned that orphans are easier to ignore before you know their names. They are easier to ignore before you see their faces. It is easier to pretend they’re not real before you hold them in your arms. But once you do, everything changes.” Amen.  Everything indeed does change, and everyone as well.  I am changed and I’m so grateful!

Easter Sunday

One of the things I have learned is that our sweet boy has had so much loss in his life.  He has lost his birth family and that alone is huge.  That is something no child should have to experience.  However, here in the next few weeks there will be more loss; there will be more grief in his little life as he transitions from an orphan to a forever son.  In my effort to help with the transition I mailed a picture book filled with photos of our home, neighborhood, his bed, his dresser, each family member, our dog, etc..  to show and remind him of the time he spent with us last summer, how we are ready for him, and how much we love him.  This photo book also had pictures of snow because where he lives in China doesn’t get snow.  The lowest temperatures are in the 50s according the research I have done.  A local friend translated this photo book into Chinese for me before I mailed it.  It arrived and was signed for at the local orphanage, but I’m not sure exactly when he’ll get the book.  I included two disposable cameras as well.  I have heard of other families doing this for their child.  Then their child can take pictures of the people, places, and things they want to remember.  It will also be interesting to see if he gets those cameras and what he takes pictures of!

Sarah's Snowman!

In the coming weeks I would also ask that you continue to pray for our family.  Specifically, please pray for the paperwork to continue to go smoothly and our approvals/visa paperwork to get approved in a timely manner so we can begin travel approval/travel dates/travel details.  Please pray for good health for all of us!  We also ask at this time for prayers for Andrew and his foster family.  Pray he gets that photo book and someone takes time to read it to him.  Also, a few weeks before we travel, Andrew will leave his foster family and return to the orphanage in preparation for our arrival.  He has been with his foster family now for a little more than four years.  So we ask for peace and comfort during these transitions and that God would prepare Andrew’s heart for our family/our arrival, that God would continue to prepare our hearts for Andrew and his arrival here, and that God would comfort his foster family that he will leave behind. 

The DHL reps that helped us mail our package.  They had never mailed a package to this particular city and so they added a pin on the map to the left of the photo.  Sam thought that was a HUGE deal! 

Thank you, friends!  Your support and prayers mean so much as you partner with us while we continue to wait!



Adventures with Andrew: Why China?

Image found on etsy.com

Things are progressing in our journey to bring Andrew home.  We have been able to gather and get the proper notarization, certification, and authentication on the necessary documents for our dossier.  Earlier this month we tracked the progress of our paperwork from Delaware to China.  It was exciting to see our packet travel across the ocean and know when it was signed for in China!  After a week’s wait, we received word we were officially logged into the Chinese system.  The next steps are for our papers to be translated and reviewed by the proper authorities.  Once this is done we are praying we receive our official letter of approval (LOA) so we can move forward in the adoption process.  The wait for our LOA is a process that is currently taking 60-80+ days.  If I’ve figured it right, we are on day 6 of our LOA wait so we still have a ways to go!  As we have shared before, waiting is one of the hardest parts of the adoption process, but it's so worth it! 

image found on pinterest.com

We have also received a new packet of information from our adoption agency, Madison Adoption Associates, outlining the next series of steps in the adoption process.  It was a bit overwhelming, but we were incredibly grateful for the detailed step by step instructions!   The most exciting thing about that packet was it outlined the process from our LOA to bringing our sweet boy home!   There is a light at the end of the waiting!  We have heard from other families who have already been through this process once you get your LOA things really do go quickly.  Sounds great to me J! 

The papers we worked diligently on filling out, gathering, getting notarized, certified and authenticated!
They are now in China!  Come on LOA!!!

This journey has opened up doors for us to get to know a whole new community of people.  It has been encouraging to network with others going through the same process or who have already been through this process.  We rejoice along with others as they reach milestones and pray for challenges that come along.  We seek out answers to questions and concerns from those who have been there.  It’s so exciting to read, hear their stories, and see first-hand what God is doing in their lives and the lives of their families.  It’s also been wonderful for Brad and me to share our story with others and hopefully raise some awareness to the needs of the many orphans around the world.  It’s been an opportunity to share what God has done in our own lives and the life of our family.

Understandably, over the past several months we have also been asked a lot of questions.  One of the questions that has come up several times is why we have chosen to adopt internationally from China when there are so many children right here in America/state of Illinois in the foster care system that need a home and a family.   I want to clarify up front and say that most of the people who have asked me this question have done so genuinely wanting to know and are not being ugly or trying to make some statement or judgment.  They don’t know much about adoption or foster care and are curious.  So I decided to write today and share our answer to this question, “Why China and not the U.S.A./state of Illinois?”  Notice….I said “our answer”.  Adoption and foster care are not things you enter into lightly because it will impact you, your spouse, your children, and your life as a whole.  Adoption and foster care are personal decisions and each family that chooses to do either has their very own story and reasons for why they chose to adopt or foster.

Love this sweet boy!

Here’s our answer – God made it clear that Andrew is our son.  Andrew currently lives in a foster home in China and not the United States.  So we are going to China to bring him home.  That’s it!  It’s that simple!  No earth shattering deep theological or philosophical answer.  We are being obedient to what God is calling us to do.  It is a personal journey we are on with our God and we LOVE it!

God used the years we spent praying, moving to Rochester to meet Marshall and Michelle McGowan, In His Hands Orphan Outreach, Rochester Christian Church, Madison Adoption Associates, and awesome families in our small group to help us become aware of the needs of orphans worldwide and those here in the states.  Adoption and foster care are a part of the culture at Rochester Christian Church an in our local community.  There are many families in our church and community that do both.   Brad and I both agree that God had bigger plans for the Ferris family when we moved here a few years ago.  It just wasn’t only for Brad to be the senior pastor at RCC.  It was so we could find Andrew!  



One of my favorite pictures from the summer!  Brad and Madeline with Andrew.  This was the last picnic we went to before he flew back to China and he was starting to relax and smile more and more every day! 

After sharing this answer with people, most are satisfied and are very excited for us.  There have been a few who have chosen not to support us and been critical.  I have to say those were the times I was hurt and angry.  It’s hard to respond with grace and love when someone is critical of your decision.  However, I have had to remind myself, and Brad has had to remind me that we are following God’s plan for our family and that is what matters.

We are all made in God’s image, and the great thing about our God is that He sees no difference between the American orphan, the Chinese orphan, the Haitian orphan, the Russian orphan, etc….  He sees a child that needs a family.  Period.  God’s love has no borders, boundaries, or limits.  He loves the world (John 3:16).  He has called us to care for the orphan and the widows (James 1:27).  One of the ways we can care for the orphan is to be a forever family or a foster family.  God has called many families to adopt internationally, but He has also called other families to foster/foster to adopt children right here in the U.S.A.   Both are equally important, and neither one should be criticized because God does not call all of us to do the same thing.

Image found on adoptionmamablog.com
 

God may not be calling you to foster or adopt, however you can still make a difference in the life of a child.  Here is a link to In His Hands Orphan Outreach webpage.  It has all the information on what they do around the world and here in Illinois to reach out to orphans.  There is a great video on the home page that is well worth your time to watch showing exactly what they did to help orphans this past year.  There is also an event tab you can click on to learn more about the upcoming orphan banquets.  The 2015 summer hosting program is another program well worth your time to read about and get more information about!  http://www.inhishandsorphans.org/   This is a great organization to partner with.  You can pray, donate, help educate others, volunteer, and so many other things. 

God has a very personal plan for each of us (Jeremiah 29:11), and God revealed to Brad and me that Andrew is our son.  Andrew lives in a foster home in China, and so we are going to China to bring him home!  It’s a very exciting time for the Ferris family!  Our process progresses and we are moving forward; each day is one day closer to bringing Andrew home!  Now we count the days for our LOA!