Matters of the Heart

It’s been a very long time since I have updated this blog.  We have had one eventful year here in the Ferris household.  This time last year we had only been home from China for a few weeks with Andrew and had begun to recover from jet lag and learn how to be a family of seven.  We had an awesome vacation in Gulf Shores, AL in August right before school began and it was heavenly.  It was very hard to return from our favorite place; we love those white sandy beaches!

Only a few days into our new school year I had heart issues.  My heart decided to go racing along at 240 beats per minute.  I’ve never been to medical school, but I have watched enough medical sitcoms on television to know the words “crash cart” are not good ones to hear when you are the one on the bed with wires attached to you.  It was one of the scariest times of my life.   As my ER room began to quickly fill up with some incredibly awesome doctors and nurses, I began to pray and talk to my Great Physician.  I acknowledged that He was the one in charge of what was going on in that room and asked him to take care of me.  We had quite the conversation, which was a bit one sided, but the Great Physician is also my Heavenly Father so he understood and I was in good hands.  The medical team working finally had to sedate me and shock my heart back into rhythm.    What a glorious feeling it was to wake up and be able to take in a deep breath of air!

One of the nurses during that time had been at my head telling me everything that was going on.  She was so kind and compassionate.  At one point I grabbed her hand and she grabbed mine back and began to rub my forehead in a very soothing manner.  Later she thanked me for being calm during the entire ordeal.  She. Thanked.  Me.  I still find that ironic since I am the one that is grateful for all she and the medical staff did for me and my family.  In the next 24 hours my husband Brad and I heard from more than one of the doctors and nurses that I could have died from my rapid heartbeat because at that high rate the heart was no longer really pumping blood but fluttering which was why we had a hard time finding a pulse on my wrist which led us to go to the ER in the first place.

Some would say I’m lucky to be alive, but I know beyond a shadow of a doubt it was not luck.  It is by the grace of God that I am still here today.  Each day is a gift.  Each moment is a gift.  Each hug from my children is a golden chain around my neck.  Each kiss I can give my husband is priceless.  In an instant things can change and your entire world can be turned upside down.  Tomorrow is not promised.  This afternoon is not promised.  While I knew that, I did not live my life like that.  I took for granted so many things, especially time.  I told myself I would have time later to write that note, play that game with my son, read that chapter with my daughter, tell that friend how much I appreciate them, plan that date with Brad, etc…because I just didn’t have time.   Even though I would tell you my family and friends were more important than a list of things to do, how I chose to spend my time really revealed what I thought was more important.  Ouch!  Yes, that one hurt.

Two and one half cardiac ablations later I am pleased to report I am doing great.  However, my heart issues really drew out matters of the heart far deeper than the muscle pumping blood in my body.   How I use my time, my money, and resources really revealed a lot about what I really believed over what I said I believed.   I’ve been given this one life, and now I have been given a second chance with it.  I’m not perfect and I will still make mistakes, but I have a new perspective.  So I leave you today with this lesson I learned because matters of the heart apply to me, you, our nation and our world.   Invest yourself in what really matters because we are not promised tomorrow; in an instant it all can change.