I see her. I truly
see her - beautiful, humorous, artistic, kindhearted, truthful, loyal, sincere,
dedicated, enthusiastic, gentle, and so much more. I hear
her. I hear the pain in her voice and
see it in her eyes. I cannot ease this
pain. I cannot fix this situation. I have no answers. The advice I have given previously has not
helped. The optimism and faith in the
good will of others has been disproved.
We sit. I hold her. She sobs.
When the silence comes we pray. I
remind her of whose she is and how much I love her.
We have taught her to treat people the way she wants to be
treated. Now I find myself struggling
not to pray that “they” are treated the way they treat her. I want them to know what it
feels like to have someone whisper unkind things about them loud enough they can
hear. That they know what it feels like
to sit beside someone and have that person get up and move to a different chair
across the room leaving them alone. No
one has bullied her, no one has said malicious things to her, and no one has
physically harmed her. It’s much deeper
than that. They have her labeled in
their minds. She isn’t one of them. She is an outsider. She is different, a little quirky and socially awkward. They keep her arm’s length away. She can see in. She wants in.
However, access is denied, and she knows it. She may not be like them, but she isn’t
ignorant of their polite disdain towards her.
They have hurt her emotionally.
The wounds are deep. All she
wants is to be loved and accepted and they have made it plain she just doesn't make the cut. She is not good enough to
be included in the group; she isn’t worthy of their time or friendship.
We pray for her. We
talk about God’s love for her and for “them”.
We try to rationalize why they might behave this way. We tell her how much we love her, about the
plan God has for her, how her worth doesn’t lie in what “they” think, but
instead in whose she is. We pray
more. We ask God to provide the
companions she needs. We wait
expectantly….
Painful times at the Ferris house. Trying to remember, whose we are and what we mean to Him!
