Some Things A Mama Just Can't Fix

It takes a lot of courage to walk in her skin.  To experience life through her eyes, her ears, her disabilities, and her heart.  Often misunderstood, she stands alone.  Waiting.  Discouraged.  Hurting.  Lonely.  Hopeful.  Hiding behind the smile, she courageously emerges again for another day.  Another dose of rejection and isolation is administered from peers and she feels defeated. "Why did God make me if THIS is how I will be treated?"  "Why should I keep trying if my heart keeps getting hurt?"  Those questions and more flood her mind and finally erupt out of her heart and mouth into my ears.  Tears betray her efforts to be brave and pour down her cheeks. 

I see her.  I truly see her - beautiful, humorous, artistic, kindhearted, truthful, loyal, sincere, dedicated, enthusiastic, gentle, and so much more.  I hear her.  I hear the pain in her voice and see it in her eyes.  I cannot ease this pain.  I cannot fix this situation.  I have no answers.  The advice I have given previously has not helped.  The optimism and faith in the good will of others has been disproved.  We sit.  I hold her.  She sobs.  When the silence comes we pray.  I remind her of whose she is and how much I love her.

We have taught her to treat people the way she wants to be treated.  Now I find myself struggling not to pray that “they” are treated the way they treat her.  I want them to know what it feels like to have someone whisper unkind things about them loud enough they can hear.  That they know what it feels like to sit beside someone and have that person get up and move to a different chair across the room leaving them alone.  No one has bullied her, no one has said malicious things to her, and no one has physically harmed her.  It’s much deeper than that.  They have her labeled in their minds.  She isn’t one of them.  She is an outsider.  She is different, a little quirky and socially awkward.  They keep her arm’s length away.  She can see in.  She wants in.  However, access is denied, and she knows it.  She may not be like them, but she isn’t ignorant of their polite disdain towards her.  They have hurt her emotionally.  The wounds are deep.   All she wants is to be loved and accepted and they have made it plain she just doesn't make the cut.  She is not good enough to be included in the group; she isn’t worthy of their time or friendship. 

We pray for her.  We talk about God’s love for her and for “them”.  We try to rationalize why they might behave this way.  We tell her how much we love her, about the plan God has for her, how her worth doesn’t lie in what “they” think, but instead in whose she is.  We pray more.  We ask God to provide the companions she needs.  We wait expectantly….

Painful times at the Ferris house.   Trying to remember, whose we are and what we mean to Him!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QSIVjjY8Ou8&list=PL25D8DC0DDCBE1021