Hospital gowns, IVs, and Beds on Wheels

It started on Monday afternoon, a small pain in my lower abdomen.  Nothing significant I thought.  There was so much going on to really stop and take notice at the time.  My parents had arrived for a short visit and we were also in the process of preparing to visit Brad and our new church family in Illinois the day after they left.  My “To Do” list was long and time was running short.  We had a few miscellaneous things to finish for school Monday afternoon, and then we all loaded up in Grandpa’s van for our annual outing to Goebel Tree and Pumpkin Farm.  It was a gorgeous afternoon and we had such a lovely time.  Later that night the pain seemed a little worse but I could handle it.  Had I pulled a muscle?  Well, I’m sure it was nothing and all I needed was a little rest.  So with no other thought, I went to bed.

Fall Fun at the Pumpkin Farm

Tuesday began wonderfully and we enjoyed our time with my parents.  As the school day went on the pain remained.  Was it worse?  Well, I’d keep an eye on it, and when I got home from Illinois I’d call my Dr.  There was still too much to do.  The house needed to be cleaned and I had preparations for our trip.  After all, we had pictorial directory pictures for RCC and I had shopped for some clothes for the kids to wear!   Dad and mom took us out to eat that night so I wouldn’t have to cook and it was such a treat.  We ate a nice dinner, enjoyed good conversation, and returned home.  Soon after arriving home my symptoms worsened, and I texted Brad to let him know I was going to call the Dr. in the morning.  Within a short time, however, I went downhill quickly.  Now I had hot flashes, chills, and nausea, but no fever.  Mom and I managed to get the kids in bed.  Once they were settled I told my parents I needed to go to the ER.  Mom stayed up with the kids and Dad drove me.
 
The staff was wonderful and soon had me checked in and back in a room relaxing in my personal taxi (bed on wheels) with an IV, and a simply gorgeous hospital gown.  I have to say the personal taxi rides to my tests were nice.  A person could get used to being taken from place to place reclining with a nice warm blanket.  The nurse that put the IV in gets the highest praise as I’m an incredibly hard stick and he did it on the first try.  Typically when needles and I get together, I pass out.  His ability to get it in quickly meant I was conscious the entire time.  It was nice to be able to remember the entire visit and know I didn’t mumble anything embarrassing or inappropriate while passing out or coming to.  Hospital gowns have to have multi uses.  I think mine could have doubled as a grill cover but it only had two ties so maybe not.  Even though it was plenty big….it just didn’t close the way it should have to make this self-conscious girl feel comfortable.  I’m sure I had to have flashed several people including my dad and that is just plain wrong. 



On my first trip to the ultrasound lab, I had a few moments alone in a room to actually stop and be still.  I had uninterrupted time to think.  Time to start processing all the things that had happened for the last few days and start to process what was going on with me and my health at the present time.  I began to get teary and I wanted Brad with me but he was in Illinois.  I began to think about the kids and what if what was going on with me was serious.  My mind began going 100 miles an hour.  I didn’t have time for this, you know?  Moms don’t get sick.  We have too much to do, right?  How was I going to drive to Illinois?  What was I going to do in the morning when my parents left?   Yes, I realize now how ridiculous that sounds, but I was still in denial that the plans we had made had changed.

While waiting for all the preliminary tests to come back, my dad joined me in my cozy ER suite and the nurse gave me some REALLY good medication in my IV for nausea and pain.  That warm, tingly, floaty feeling was so weird but it did help me relax.  It was at this time that Dad informed me he and mom would be staying with me until I felt better.  I felt so bad.  They had other plans.  They had reservations in other places later in the week.  They had other things they wanted to do and 40+ years later, they were still being terrific parents and with no second thoughts gave it up to be with me.  I kept thinking about how I had messed up their vacation.

After another test, I discovered I had an irritated digestive tract issue and should be fine over time.  So I was discharged with a couple prescriptions.  I had to give up the hospital gown and bed on wheels.  One was so much easier to give up than the other!  Then I was able to call Brad and talk to him personally and let him know I wasn’t going to be able to make our originally planned trip. We were not going to be able to get our pictures taken.  I was so upset.  Again, somehow I had messed things up.   This was not how it was supposed to be.   I had plans and pictures and I was going to get to hear Brad preach!

In an instant everything changed for me, my parents, my husband, and our children.  All the plans that had been made, all the things on my to do list, all the chores still left to do, it all changed.  I now had to be flexible and there was a new plan.  I do not excel at being flexible and it causes pressure to build up inside of me at times but I’m learning.  Brad ended up coming home to help take care of me and the kids.  It was the best medicine I could have had.   You all can have the Avengers….I have my own set of super heroes here and they are awesome – Brad, my parents, Neil, Madeline, Sarah, and Samuel wore their super hero capes with pride.

It’s been a different kind of a week.  It was nothing like what I had planned.  It was scary at times and full of questions.  It was a week where I experienced the love of my family in a new and different way.  It was a week where God continued to take care of us and our daily needs.  It was a week where I was blessed in ways I would not have imagined.  It was a week of changed plans.  I’m so grateful for good medical staff, my handsome husband guy, wonderful parents,  and terrific kids.  I am so incredibly blessed!!

 

I’m not used to being the one who is being taken care of.  I prefer being the caretaker.  I felt fragile for the first time in a long time and realize even more how precious the time is that God has given us to be upon this earth.  There is still a lot of work to do.  So as I was in the hospital this week, the experience made me reflect on my daily goals and as a list maker, my "To Do" list.  I was reminded that plans change, and sometimes very quickly.  What are the things that really matter?  Do the things on my to do list fulfill His purposes for my life, or my own desires?  Am I living for Him and to please Him or am I just living day to day to please myself and fulfill my own goals?  It is so easy to get caught up in my own agenda and my own plans.  The day to day activities of living life and being a mom and homeschool teacher can crowd out God’s plans for me that day. I am ashamed to say I don’t pray over my list with the right attitude.  Too many times I have made my list and asked Him to bless my day and give me strength to complete my tasks without a second thought to what He might want to do in me or through me that day.  How many opportunities have I missed because of that?

 

Thankfully today is a new day.  I’m not sure what’s ahead, but God does and He promised to go with us and never leave us.  So I continue to rest and heal and look ahead to a new day.  As I make my  to do list for the next week and go over my plans for the week ahead, I’m thinking differently.  I want my life, every part, even small things to honor him.  I want to see His plan for me more than my own plan for my day.  Please keep us in your prayers – prayers for continued healing for me and for the sale of our home. We are so blessed to have you all in our lives. Thank you!