The Secret Recipe for a Lasting Marriage

September 30, 1962 my parents were married on a Sunday afternoon at 2:30 p.m.  They were married on the half hour so as the minute hand on the clock traveled its path back around it would “catch” all the blessings.  They spent their wedding day doing what I’ve always known them to do on a Sunday.   They spent that morning in worship.  My dad had just started his first full time preaching ministry at Kingman Christian Church in Kingman, Indiana in July of 1962.  He got up and went to worship and preached the Word.  My mom attended Second Church of Christ in Danville, Illinois and so she went to Sunday School and worship there that morning.

It was a simple service and the ladies of the church decorated the reception area so mom didn’t have to worry about any of that.  I found out last weekend that my grandfather Hibbs told my mom if she started crying as he was walking her down the aisle that he would start skipping her down the aisle.  So she didn’t cry because she told me, “He was serious!”  I find that hard to believe because my mom is a very sensitive and emotional being.  Her sensitivity and tenderness are such precious qualities.  In fact, Brad and I sometimes judge a movie by how my mom will react and usually have a few we want to watch with her just to see her reaction!


Mr. and Mrs. Larry McMillan
September 30, 1962

 My mom was originally from Memphis, Tennessee and it was her southern drawl that attracted my dad to her.  My dad’s red Plymouth caught my mom’s eye.  Then they were introduced by a mutual friend but this friend told my mom that Larry wasn’t her type.  Come to find out this friend liked my dad!  Oh we women are something sometimes aren’t we?!  Mom decided she’d like to find that out for herself!  They dated a long time and were engaged two years before a couple of the ladies at church gave them money for a marriage license.  I think my parents were just content knowing they had each other and the ladies of the church were the impatient ones! 

 

 

Over the course of the past 50 years they ministered 10 of those years in Kingman and had three children, Tim, Paul and me.  When I was a year old they moved to Oxford Indiana and started a new ministry at the Oxford Church of Christ where my dad is still ministering at that local congregation of believers.  In my lifetime I have watched them go through good and challenging times together.  I’ve seen good, bad, and ugly.  However, they have stuck together even when things weren’t so rosy.

While I’ve never asked them what the secret is to a lasting marriage, I already know the answer because their actions have always spoken louder than their words.  It’s because of the relationship they each have with the Lord.  I have fond memories of waking early in the mornings and finding my mom in her chair reading her Bible or starting her day in prayer.  I have fond memories of going downstairs to my dad’s office of a morning and finding my dad reclining in his chair with his feet crossed and kicked up on one of the desks in his office with his Bible or devotional on his lap and his eyes closed in prayer.  This relationship has provided a foundation for not only their individual lives but their marriage as well.  It is the rock they cling to in the bad times and rejoice on in the good. 

Larry and Roberta, still precious 50 years later!

This foundation in Christ has taught them that love is not a feeling or emotion but a choice to love for better in the good times and for worse in the bad, during times when money was plentiful and when it wasn’t, the healthy periods of life and now during sickness when my mom and dad deal with diabetes and as my dad deals with asthma.  They try to model a love that will honor, respect, cherish and treasure the other above their own needs or desires.  A love that is patient, kind, unselfish, humble, seeking the good in the other, refusing to speak badly about the other and one that doesn’t keep score or gets angry when things don’t go their own way kind of love. 

Don’t get me wrong.  They struggle at times and fuss at one another and have moments of intense fellowship, but in the end it all comes back to what their marriage is built upon.  Their marriage is built upon the Rock, and during those storms He is faithful and immovable.  When the storms have passed, their marriage has remained intact and their relationship to God and each other has not only endured but become stronger.


Saying their vows to one another again

This past Sunday, September 30, 2012, we had a wonderful celebration for Dad and Mom in honor of their 50th Wedding Anniversary.  My sister-in-law, Sheryl did most of the planning and all I can say is…it was beautiful!  50 years later though,  they were still about the Lords work.  Mom taught in her Sunday School class and Dad was preaching the Word!  After service, we surprised them with a vow renewal ceremony and my dad serenaded my mom with Irving Berlin’s song, Always.  My mom wanted my dad to sing to her at their wedding but he thought he’d be too nervous so he didn’t.  It was so romantic and precious to hear him sing to her Sunday.  Many wet eyes in the sanctuary!  He thought he was going to surprise her at the reception but when he found out about the ceremony he sang it to her there.  There was a luncheon with the church family and then from 1-4 p.m. a reception held that was open to the community.  It was a great day!


I’m so grateful for my parents and their example to me, our family, their grandchildren, and those in the community where they serve the Lord.  I’m so blessed to have them in my life and grateful that God has blessed them to reach this wonderful milestone in their lives this side of eternity.  My prayer for them is that they get to enjoy many, many more Golden Years together as they walk hand in hand with each other and with the Lord!  Congratulations Dad and Mom!  I love you!

They make such a cute couple!